Palace Gambling

Sex aid toys are superb; sensual aids are one thing that won?t ever have a a whinge spending evenings with yourself till it gets you off. Marital aids have been all around for centuries, from the cucumber in the old days through to the excellent and high technology marital toys available online these days.

If you yourself feel that your x rated life is in need of quite a bit of urgent attention then sensual toys are perfect to add that additional spice you are looking for. You can often use marital aids with your mistress or on your own and the excitement is endless, just use your naughty imagination.

At times it may seem that x rated toys are only manufactured for ladies, well if you have ever been to a vast sex shop you yourself would see plentiful sensual aids for men. They stock everything from masturbators to penis vacuums. Chaps occasionally think embarrassed about purchasing sex aid toys for themselves, nonetheless with the internet now readily everywhere to everyone you can save any embarrassment and purchase online and get a penis masturbator delivered in discreet packaging. If you do not know which sex toy to order first you can always chat or email the customer service staff for their sexual guidance. Get the finger on the pulse, sexy Fingertip Massagers buy them from Sex Bomb.

Few Decision makers see the link between between creativity and innovation management, as performed by MBA’s in firms, and creative endeavours such as screenwriting. In fact, there are very strong linkages.

The problems that prevent individuals coming up with ideas, writing and then commercialising their screenplays are the very same as the problems that firms face when they attempt to motivate their people to come up with innovative ideas - whether it be innovation of product, process, paradigm or positioning.

The root of the problem can be defined within organizational culture:

A screenwriter sitting at his desk may sit motionless for hours waiting for the big idea. But he suffers from the same symptom as the person sitting in a brainstorming session in a corporate environment. The screenwriter, in reality, has plenty of ideas, but evaluation anxiety prevents her from valuing them positively, just as evaluation apprehension prevents the corporate brainstormer from saying what he really thinks:

a) Fear of being unoriginal

b) Fear of being perceived as unintelligent

c) Lacking in competencies and consequently confidence in the domain

d) Not valuing his or her own contribution

e) Status deference to higher status individuals

f) The illusion of difficulty

g) Waiting for the big idea

h) Misunderstanding the concept of “originality”

i) Lack of appreciation of the value of incremental creativity and overemphasising radical creativity

j) Lack of novel thinking

k) Lack of diverse thinking

l) Lack of focus and defined goal

The solution includes having an atmosphere of psychological safety and freedom…..

but these and other topics are covered in depth in the MBA dissertation on Managing Creativity & Innovation, which can be purchased (along with a Creativity and Innovation DIY Audit, Good Idea Generator Software and Power Point Presentation) from http://www.managing-creativity.com/

You can also receive a regular, free newsletter by entering your email address at this site.

Kal Bishop, MBA

**********************************

You are free to reproduce this article as long as no changes are made and the author’s name and site URL are retained.

Kal Bishop is a management consultant based in London, UK. He has consulted in the visual media and software industries and for clients such as Toshiba and Transport for London. He has led Improv, creativity and innovation workshops, exhibited artwork in San Francisco, Los Angeles and London and written a number of screenplays. He is a passionate traveller. He can be reached on http://www.managing-creativity.com/

2600 deaths each year. About 100,000 injuries that lead to being disabled each year.

These are the numbers from the National Highway Transportation Safety Administration (NHTSA). And these are simply the statistics for effects of crashes and vehicular accidents on the roads and streets of the United States. And with summer vacation coming up, it means many families and groups of friends would be out on road trips to various places around the country. That is why the NHTSA would like all drivers to check their brakes before they do go out and drive towards any destination.

Brakes are very essential when driving. After all, it is what makes your car stop or slow down when you are driving at top speeds. In fact, your brake is very much part of auto safety. And you should ensure that your brakes are still working well and that all its components are in excellent condition. A damaged brake system could actually cost you, your passengers, or anybody else on the road their lives.

The NHTSA recommends that you should not hesitate to invest in having your car go through an annual brake system analysis. In fact, automobile experts really do suggest that the braking system of your vehicle should be checked once a year at the very least. You should ask a technician to do this. However, it should be just any other technician. You should have the braking system checked by one who has been certified by the National Institute for Automotive Service Excellence.

It also is important that you change the brake fluid of car for every 24,000 miles that your vehicle has traveled. This decreases your chances of meeting car emergencies or mishaps. By keeping your brake fluid fresh, you are sure that it is not contaminated with external fluid that decreases the efficiency of the whole system.

Jaguar Parts and Jaguar Auto Parts
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Michelle Crimson holds a degree in business administration. She is currently working as an editor in New Orleans, Louisiana. This 32 year old mother of two is also a car racing fanatic.

The N82 has been a real money maker for Nokia as it has been pretty popular with consumers. With this mobile phone Nokia have made something which is fully featured for the price. Like other similar models from Nokia the design is quite cutting edge and would be appealing to a wide range of users.

The Nokia N82 comes equipped with bluetooth, for compatibility with a great deal of accessories. The battery usage the N82 is 4:20 talk time and 225 hrs standby time. A Li-Ion 1050 mAh (BP-6MT) battery is fitted to the Nokia N82. Colour wise this handset can be bought in, Silver and Black. Compared to competing handsets currently on the market the Nokia N82 is very small. The mobile phone is pretty light weighing in at 114 g. The N82 supports 2G GSM 850 / 900 / 1800 / 1900 and 3G HSDPA 2100. The N82 is fitted with a 5 MP, 2592 x 1944 pixels, Carl Zeiss optics, autofocus, video(VGA 30fps), xenon flash; secondary CIF videocall camera. A WAP 2.0/xHTML, HTML compatible browser is also included allowing mobile Internet access. The ring-tones on the N82 are Polyphonic, Monophonic, True Tones, MP3 including a vibration alert. Getting on to the display the mobile handset is supplied with a 2.4 inch screen, which is a pretty average size display considering other phones you could get for the money. A TFT, 16M colors display is fitted to this mobile handset. This mobile phone has a number of extras such as:

Unfortunately for Nokia the N82 is already up against competition from similar or better products on the market meaning it is relatively easy to find a fantastic deal on this mobile phone. The best way by far to shop for a mobile phone today is from specialist websites. Buying online can save you a significant amount of money, it is even possible to get a free line rental mobile phone on the Nokia N82 , which will not cost anything at all.

Sugar gliders learn to develop relationships almost purely by smell, so by reaching into their cage and uncovering them you scare them. To avoid this, gently stroke the sugar gliders as you call their names and talk to them, and then roll them onto your hands while still holding them on the cloth. By doing this, the sugar gliders will still be half asleep when they land into your hands greatly reducing their stress levels. Never blow directly onto the sugar gliders as they are not used to your smell and may be even more stressed.

Always ensure that your sugar gliders are hydrated. This you can do by ensuring that they know where their water bottle is, putting a slice of an apple in their pouch whenever you are carrying, and allowing them to take water every couple of hours if you are carrying them around with you for several hours at a time. Avoid chlorinated tap water as high chlorine levels in water have led to sudden deaths of sugar gliders.

Sugar gliders main meals consist of proteins fruits and vegetable. The best time to feed them is in the evening just before going to bed. Avoid feeding them on live protein to eliminate unpleasant odors

Sugar gliders, especially the little ones, are too small to generate enough heat for themselves. It is therefore important that they are kept warm. While carrying them outdoors, you can carry them in your shirt pocket (preferably near your chest) ensuring they are covered well enough and they will be warm. Indoors, sugar gliders can be kept warm by using a heat rock covered with an appropriate material and with a ‘plug in’ socket to ensure continuous heating for the sugar gliders. With these in mind, healthy sugar gliders are a guarantee.

Bond together two of men’s first quests and you’ve got is something that’s customarily named a sportsbook betting website. Really now - what could imaginably be more original. Picture a crowd of buddies rooting for any given preferred sports club, and almost all the time stakes are placed along with the din. In order to catch a bit of the action, on-lookers regularly attempt to speculate who is the likeliest to win the imminent game. This all eventually evolves into a charming little game known as sportsbook betting website.

Learn the strategies, practice the tricks: Best WWW bet gambling sports gambling here!

Agreed it might well seem to be addicting however, sportsbook wagers is really just fun and to relate with fellow sports buddies. You can risk a a little budget of chicamin and nonetheless have a amazing time. Below, you’ll find a group of basic cues to help everyone get started sportsbook wagers.

To wager, you should call on a sportsbook betting website, i.e. a setup which offers sportsbook betting website. In the USA, there’s no less than four states where everyone can do sportsbook wagers officially, but if you don’t care for legality, you can attempt it anywhere assuming you locate a bookie and happen to be a legal adult. Covered track-and-field events you can choose to wager on are professional and, too, college basketball as well as college league football, professional hockey, professional hockey, and, too, bets on both horse and dog racing. Punters could wager on the global tally of a game or fight, in what round any given contester will be knocked out, and even if a coin toss in a game or fight comes out either heads or tails.

The bookie outfit depend on the science of statistics to help you out discern which sports club you may deem is the likeliest to win. There’s the spread, that’s lead allocated to the trailing contestant anticipated to be defeated by a given number points. This describes the bookmaker’s routine of organizing evenhanded wagers for a sportsbook. For a practical example a bettor have a choice of betting on a side anticipated to be defeated and and nonetheless profit from that wager assuming the contestant goes down by a given number of points.

You’ll see a lot of varied styles of lays, the straight bets, where all you have to do is to pinpoint the contestor you guess is the likeliest to prevail or take a licking being the general favorite in sportsbook wagers.

Why not give it a try and enjoy the excitement at the same time. But see to it that you won’t get too enthused and deplete your complete retirement income on a vagary… Else, you’ll be sure to catch yourself distressed till the end of your life…

We are ALWAYS at CHOICE. Sounds simple. For many things, this is an easy and empowering concept to embrace. Someone asks you out to dinner. Do you really want to go? You decide “yes” or “no”. You’re at choice. Someone asks you to do something you DON’T want to do. Again, you’re at choice…”yes” or “no”.

Yet, how many times have you said, or heard someone else repeatedly say, “I don’t have a choice”? Deadlines. Big projects. Children. Commitments. Agreements. Board Meetings. Relationships. Look at anyone who is stressed, overwhelmed or filled with anxiety….and I’ll show you a person who doesn’t feel in control of their life. Our lives are filled with “have to’s”, “need to’s” and “shoulds”, which can bring great stress. When the stakes get larger, the idea of “choice” can go right out the window. In the eye of life’s biggest challenges, I’d like to suggest that “YOU ARE ALWAYS AT CHOICE”.

Let’s take a commitment you’ve made at work. Perhaps a huge undertaking that is going to require extra hours, serious focus with a tight deadline. You originally committed enthusiastically to the project, and now it’s impeding your life. The stress levels rise, and you find yourself overwhelmed because your health is being compromised, your family is demanding attention, and your “inner peace” has become a distant concept. You are saying to yourself, “I don’t have a choice”. ” If I want to complete this project, and NOT lose my job - I HAVE TO WORK”. Perhaps you know someone who has experienced this scenario, maybe even you.

In the face of “I don’t have a choice”

…..you have choices.

4 CHOICES…

CHOICE #1 - STAY in the perspective of “I don’t have a choice” WHILE RESISTING or RESENTING the original commitment. This is a CHOICE, whether you acknowledge it or not. When you choose “I don’t have a choice” you are playing “victim” to your original commitment (or choice) and/or the circumstances that surround you. I call this running on “auto-pilot”. “I made the commitment, I HAVE to follow through”. No, you don’t HAVE TO. Do you run on “auto-pilot” out of a sense of “integrity” or “have to”? In doing so, you’re giving your power away to someone or something other than yourself. You’ll likely feel stress, overwhelm, out of control and intense time pressures. The “choice” to stay in “I don’t have a choice” is an energy drain and dis-empowering, and ultimately creates a negative impact on your performance and your health. Where are you RESISTING a CHOICE? This is a cop out choice.

CHOICE #2 - Make a new agreement. I’m big on keeping my word, however I believe it’s even MORE important to “be at choice”. And, often times creating a new agreement is best for YOU, and for all parties. This is often a simple and easy solution that brings power back to you.

* Can the deadline be extended or dropped?

* Can an appointment be rescheduled?

* What are the consequences of completing this late? Can you live with that?

* How else might I achieve my outcome?

CHOICE #3 - Explore alternative resources. When we’re locked into “I don’t have a choice”, we’re less likely to explore alternative resources or to accept help from others. Set aside your ego and the need to be “significant”. Give up the notion of something “having” to be hard. Be WILLING for it to be easier. It doesn’t always have to be a struggle. “Be at choice” and open yourself up to the alternatives. Ask a powerful question. One of my friends is always asking, “How can this be done more easily and efficiently?” Funny thing is, there is usually an easier way if we’re open to it, and she is ALWAYS finding a way.

*Are their additional people or resources available to you to make this job easier and lighten the load?

*How can I empower those around me to step up and be more, do more than they would normally do?

* What haven’t I thought of yet?

* How can I duplicate myself?

* What other options ARE available?

CHOICE #4 - ALIGN with your original CHOICE and DECIDE to ENJOY it or at the very least ACCEPT it. FIND SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOUR CHOICE - the challenge of it, working with a team, using your creativity, the feeling of accomplishment when the task is complete, knowing you’re a person of your word, learning and growth opportunities, or simply CHOOSING to follow through and give your best. I’m not suggesting you PRETEND, or that this is always EASY. I am suggesting that even in the most challenging of situations there is ALWAYS a way to RE-FRAME things within yourself and re-align with CHOICE if you’re open to that possibility. Focus on what excited you about the project in the first place. Focus on what following through with your choice will give you.

SOULFUL CHALLENGE: The next time you feel, “I don’t have a choice”….STOP yourself. Do you really want to remain in RESISTANCE to your choice? Do you need to make a new agreement? What alternative resources are available? How can you align, ENJOY or accept your original choice with fresh eyes? Challenge yourself to live from a place of CHOICE. It’s empowering.

Mary Allen, Master Certified Coach, has earned a reputation as a results oriented coach, trainer and speaker. She is the author of “The Power of Inner Choice: 12 Weeks to Living a Life YOU Love”. For tips, strategies, ideas and reminders for creating a more fulfilling life, sign up for Mary’s email newsletter, SoulFULLY Living at http://www.powerofinnerchoice.com.

Over the years, you have probably heard the saying, “Location, Location, Location”.

It is true that location is a key element in selecting real estate. It is important to the resale value of a property to be in a desirable location. But there is a lot that goes into making “Location” that desirable entity that it has become.

Let’s take a look at a few factors that not only make up a desirable location but will help you to select a location that is right for you?

First off, I suggest having your Exclusive Buyers Broker compile reports for closed sales in any area you are currently considering. This will be very helpful in determining a trend in resale values and determining desirable locations. These reports help give you an idea of what you may expect several years up the road as far as the potential appreciation of the property you are considering. An area that shows a steady increase in sales prices for properties sold over the last 3-5 years would be a good area to delve into.

When looking for a home, it is preferable to locate a property not only in a nice residential area, but one that is also close to commercial and business districts as well. Having a nice balance of residential, commercial, and business not only provides potential jobs for the residents but income to the city as well which could be used for added services or maintenance and upgrades of the area roadways.

Deciding on which community you want to live in is your next step.

Let’s check out the curb appeal.

First and foremost, take a drive through a community that interests you. Look at the homes around you. Is there a sense of pride of ownership among the residents? Are the lawns neatly mowed and trimmed or are some unkempt? Is there a continuity of architecture among the homes? Are some properties in disrepair? What about the neighborhood streets? Are they well lit, nicely maintained? Potholes or poor drainage are signs that the community does not get the attention it needs. Any of these findings could adversely affect property values. What amenities does the community offer for you or your family? For example, having a community pool, golf course, clubhouse, or tennis courts would be nice if you enjoy participating in any of these on a social basis. However, these amenities come at a price and are usually paid for in an annual fee. Check to see if there is a homeowners association and if it is mandatory for all residents.

Okay, so far let’s say you like what you have seen. Let’s talk safety.

Where is the nearest fire station? What type of rating does it have? How far from the property is the closest fire hydrant? Knowing the location of and distance to both fire stations and hydrants is important as it will affect the rating you get and how much you pay for your homeowners insurance. Also, note locations of other fire stations. Are they located strategically enough to provide additional response if an emergency arose?

What is the crime rate? Check with the local sheriff’s office or police station and see what the statistics are for the community and city you are considering. This will also affect your potential resale values.

Schools are another important factor. The better the rating, the better property values will tend to be.
If you have children, there are a number of things that will affect where you buy. Will your children be able to attend the school closest to the prospective home? If not, why. Are the schools in that area over crowded? Are there plans to build additional schools to support the growing population?

Many areas now allow school choice. However, you must sign up for the school of choice ahead of the coming school year. If you are relocating during the school term, check to see if there are waiting lists. It is possible that a student will move out of the area and a slot become available for your child. Check to see how the local students have scored on the standardized tests? You want your children to get the best education possible. You may obtain free testing results for schools in your area by looking on the internet. Simply search for “standardized test results city state” and replace the words city and state with the one you are concerned with.

Does the community have activities such as youth sponsored sports? Are there facilities such as a park or gym nearby that you or your family could benefit from? A community that has a nice blend parks and activities for young children, teenagers, adults and seniors is a community worth looking into.

So, next let’s take a look at the property taxes. Not every area is taxed the same. One county could pay much higher property taxes compared to another. This may affect the way you view a potential property and its desirability. After all, taxes generally tend to increase as time goes by. Know your budget and take the area property taxes into consideration. Remember, the property taxes reported on the house you are considering are based on the present value of the property. Unless the owner is selling at a great loss, you can be assured that the property taxes will increase after closing due to the properties increased value resulting from the sale.

Another factor to consider is the price per square foot. How are various properties in different communities comparing to one another in their price per square foot? I would not base my decision to purchase on this fact alone, but it is one you may wish to consider. Many times, properties that are located in areas of higher taxes actually have lower price per square foot ratios.

When you take all these items into consideration (closed sales in the area, pride of ownership, location of emergency personnel, community activities and resources, rating of area schools) you come to understand just how important location can be.

Taking the time to do a little research will can make the difference between simply buying a property or making a wise real estate investment.

Next we will look more closely at the property itself and discover how different features can affect property values. However, that will have to wait until my next article.

Best of luck in all your real estate endeavors.

©2006. Edward K. Blinn, P. A. is an Exclusive Buyers Broker at RE/MAX Sundance Realty in Bonita Springs, Florida who knows the value of SW Florida real estate, area communities, and their amenities. http://www.FloridaBuyersBroker.com

Pull up a seat and enjoy the first in a five-part documentary (or moc-umentary as I
prefer to call it) exploring the lives of artists just like you on their quest to make
$100,000 a year as independents.

Though the characters in this moc-umentary are indeed fictional, the facts, figures
and techniques are not. These are the same strategies that successful independent
performers, artists and bands use day in and day out to profit from their passion for
music.

During the course of this short moc-umentary you’ll observe how this cast of five
characters arrange their music businesses to arrive at their target of a six-figure-
income. So lets start the camera rolling on act one of this story. We’ll begin with our
first independent artists named Gidget, a solo artist with only one business strategy:
get more gigs.

Giddy Gidget Gigging Gladly

[Scene One, Act One] Camera opens on one Giddy Gidget, a Folk Artist from
Berkeley California…

Gidget is a busy bee. She loves being in front of people and is sold on the idea of
performing as the main source of her income. Gidget is always on the look out for
new gigs that put her in front of more and more new faces.

At the beginning of last year Gidget made a new-years resolution of booking herself
into three gigs per week - no more, no less. Unlike her other resolution [to stop
eating Twinkies dipped in Jif peanut butter] Gidget has actually stuck to, and
accomplished this goal.

Since Gidget’s music style and stage presence consistently attract java-thirsty
crowds to her gigs, she was able to negotiate a meager $2.50 split of the door for
each of her gigs. The managers all conceded with out much fuss because they knew
that they made far more than that due to Gidget’s lyrics about social injustice and
her croonings about the joys of caffeinated beverages.

Now Gidget is a fairly consistent lady, and so are her audience sizes, which always
seem to number exactly 200 people per gig (no more, no less).

If you are keeping tabs on the math then you are already adding the audience size
of 200 people to her $2.50 per-person split and realizing that each of her gigs nets
her $500 dollars - also exactly no more, no less. In order for Gidget to make
$100,000 per year, she realizes that she cannot (I repeat, cannot) get any better at
booking gigs or ask for a higher split of the door. Seeing as how Gidget doesn’t
have a whole lot of ambition this seems just fine to her, plus it works well for our
illustration.

So the end of one year Gidget sits down with a pack of Twinkies and a jar of Jif
peanut butter and tallies up the take from her gigs. Before she reaches the
inevitable sugar high she discovers that she has realized a gross profit of $78,000
per year from just three gigs a week!

Again if you are keeping track you will have no doubt figured this out by multiplying
her $2.50 per person split by 200 people at each gig, for three gigs a week. Your
math would certainly come up with $1,500 per week in income from gigs. Of course
that multiplied by 52 weeks equals $78,000.

When Gidget first saw this number she became a little depressed because she didn’t
see her goal of six figures in the display of her calculator. But after a little more Jif
covered Twinkie delight, she suddenly had a recollection. She remembered that she
did have some other income from the sale of her products. [To be truthful she
actually has only one product - a CD called "Chimes They Are A Tangeing" - which is
her homage to the social revolution of the Sixties].

Now for a quick insight into Gidget’s personality - though she is indeed very
outgoing and very consistent at booking gigs, she is not very business minded.
Because of this she never got around to developing more products to sell, nor did
she ever really take the time to learn or implement any promotional or marketing
strategies. Consequently she convinced only 7.5% of her audience (15 people per
gig) to buy her one-and-only CD. She sells her 14 song, Hippy-Nouveau, collection
for a reasonable price of $12. The CD costs - including recording and duplication
expenses - are $2.50 per CD, which leaves her $9.50 in profit per CD.

Rushing back to her trusty ten-key adding machine with adrenaline now added to
the sugar coursing through her veins, Gidget begins the jittery process of counting
up her profits. To figure out the yearly total of her CD sales she quickly multiplies
the number of weekly sales [45 sales per week] by her per CD profit of $9.50 each,
which brings her to $427.50 per week in pure profit.

Now to figure out the yearly net income she squints her eyes tightly to focus
through the sugar induced brain fog as she to tries to remember how many weeks
there are in a year. In an epiphany she recalls that there are 52 weeks in a year. She
quickly types “52″ into her adding machine hits the “times” key to multiply the total
number of weeks in the year by her profit [$427.50 x 52 weeks] which brings Gidget
to $22,230 in additional income.

In a mad rush of excitement Gidget pours herself a quick cup of coffee to add
caffeine to the adrenaline and sugar high, and begins to nervously complete the
calculations of her gig crazy profits. This is what she arrives at - $78,000 from
gigging added to the $22,230 from CD sales. Fingers now shaking she presses the
equal button and squints once more at the display, which presently shows a grand
total $100,230.00 for the year.

[Close of Scene One] As the camera fades to black we see Gidget jumping
ecstatically over meeting her goal. She celebrates with more java, Jif and Twinkies.

Editor’s Note: Last we heard Gidget is doing well, she has given up the Twinkies and
peanut butter all together and has plans to record a new CD this year called “Sugar
Coated Java Beans.”

As you can see that though Gidget’s business strategy is very lopsided, it is well
within the realm of reality to book 3 gigs per week. Anyone who has the ability to
grasp some simple booking tools and techniques should be able to do this as a
minimum. Plus with only minor increases in crowd sizes, or by adding more
products and even some marketing you could fair even more profitably than Gidget
did.

Join us for the next time during the continuation of our little moc-umentary when
we introduce you to a guy named Fast Freddy who is all about working with his
Fanatical Fans to bring him the lions share of his $100,000 income.

SEAN FARRINGTON is a Band Coach and Studio Mix Engineer from California. He has
been a full time music industry professional for over 12 years. During this time he
has worked with hundreds of bands and artists in various capacities from the studio
to the stage.

He authored the book Band:Profit which is designed to help independent bands,
solo artists, and performers take their passion for music and turn it into profit.

Sean lives with his wife Aimee and four children in Sacramento.

You can check out his site and the book at
http://www.bandprofit.com

In my counseling practice, I often hear the question, “How do I end a relationship without hurting someone’s feelings?” Whether it’s a romantic relationship or a friendship, ending it gracefully is generally a challenge.

The problem arises because so many people see it as a reflection of their worth when someone doesn’t want to be with them. “If I was good enough, this person would want to be with me, so there must be something wrong with me.”

There is another way to see this. The way I see it is that for each of us there is a relatively small number of people with whom we feel a deep connection. Whether you want to explain this as due to being part of the same soul group in the spiritual realm, or to having similar energies, or to chemistry, the fact is that we don’t feel connected to most people. Just because I don’t feel connected with someone doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with them. Just because you don’t feel drawn to spend time with someone doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with that person, and just because someone doesn’t connect with you doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It’s just the way things are, and it has nothing to do with there being anything wrong with anyone.

So if I say to someone, “I don’t feel a strong connection between us,” I am simply stating a fact. I am not making a judgment about the person’s adequacy or worth.

All of us meet perfectly wonderful people with whom we just don’t feel a connection. The person might be very attractive, have similar interests to us, and even be on a similar growth path or spiritual path. Yet we just don’t connect. The spark that ignites friendship or romance just doesn’t exist. If we could all accept that someone not wanting to be with us has nothing to do with our worth, we would not get hurt when someone says no to a relationship.

I don’t pretend to understand all the factors that create connection between two people. All I know is that all of us have the experience of connection with another that occurs deeply and rapidly, as well as the experience of a lack of connection. Many people have had the experience of being fixed up with someone because a friend said, “I just know you two will like each other. You are so similar,” only to discover a complete lack of connection. Katie, a client of mine, recently said to me, “Everyone said Rick is perfect for me. We look good together, we have similar interests and backgrounds, we are the same religion, we are equal educationally, and he is a really sweet guy. I kept thinking that if I just gave it time, I would feel the connection. But it never happened. I felt so badly breaking up with him because there is nothing wrong with him, but the connection just isn’t there.”

Is it anyone’s fault that the chemistry or connection isn’t there? Of course not! There is nothing wrong with either Katie or Rick. The connection just isn’t there for Katie. She couldn’t make it be there. She ended up saying to Rick, “You are a really terrific guy. I wish I felt the connection with you that I want to have with a partner, but I don’t. It’s not your fault - it’s just not there.”

Whether or not Rick felt hurt by this is really up to him. Katie can’t take responsibility for how he feels. If Rick has the belief system that not everyone will feel connected with everyone, he will not feel hurt. If he has the belief system that if a woman doesn’t connect with him, there is something wrong with him, he will feel hurt. His hurt will come from his belief system, not from the fact that Katie broke up with him.

Ending a relationship gracefully means speaking our truth without blame or judgment and not taking responsibility for another’s feelings. Randi, another one of my clients, recently told me that she was able to tell the truth rather than give herself up to avoid hurting someone. A friend had introduced her to Barb, thinking that Randi and Barb had a lot in common and could be good friends. Randi got together with Barb and felt no connection. In fact, she felt the opposite. While Randi felt that Barb was a sweet person, she also felt Barb’s energy pulling on her in various ways. While some people might not mind needy energy, or even find it endearing, Randi didn’t like it at all. She was pleased with herself because she was able to tell Barb that she just didn’t feel a connection with her. Randi was able to let go of taking responsibility for Barb’s feelings if Barb felt hurt by this.

Is there always a way of breaking up or saying no to a relationship without someone getting hurt? No. But by gently speaking your truth, you can gracefully end a relationship, and if you accept that another’s feelings come from his or her belief system, then you won’t feel guilty if the other person feels hurt.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.